A Moonlight Message

I was driving home on Wednesday evening after dropping TP off again at college. It was a busy day, full of doctor's appointments, etc. TP had two corneal abrasions which needed to be checked out again, she had to have her labs drawn, and both girls had to see our PCP (TP has a lower respiratory infection and DQ has a sinus infection). As I turned on the radio to listen to some classical music in order to relax, my anxiety and worry made my eyes well up with tears. I'm just too tired to deal with this, I thought. The eye doctor told TP that there might be permanent eye damage. DQ's infection has been resistant to antibiotics and is very stubborn. This was the first night TP was going to be away from me while running a fever - and usually fevers goes haywire in her body, often requiring an intensive Tylenol/Advil routine, and sometimes putting her in the hospital as the infection takes over her immunosuppressed body, making it too weak to fight.

I kept on telling myself that she'll be all right - she's 18 (and an adult now, as she's so fond of reminding me) - but what she fails to realize is how precarious it can be for her when she gets an infection. Yes, her lupus is in remission - but I remember all too well all those nights in the hospital, when she was fighting so desperately to get better - and it's hard for me to NOT be next to her, to keep an eye on her "just in case". . .

I glanced over to the right, and I saw something which took my breath away. It was a huge, absolutely gigantic moon suspended in the lower northeasatern sky. Immediately, despite my tears, I felt an immediate sense of peace. God knew that I needed to be reminded that HE is in control. He is here - and He wants me to hand it over to Him - He wants to comfort me and give me strength. I pulled over to the side of the road, and just gazed at that gorgeous moon. The calmness and tranquility I felt was such a healing gift. I was able to let God's loving presence sink into my soul, and He let me know that I would be able to handle whatever happened (there's a lot more going on in my life besides this), because He'd be right there all along. He reminded me that He chose me to be my kids' mom for some very good reasons - and that those reasons are very plain to see as we go through these turbulent and anxious times. He let me know He trusted me to guide both of them through these times, with the wisdom and strength and patience He would provide to me.

I resumed my journey home, and I was reminded of a different conversation God and I had almost three years ago when TP first got sick - with a very similar message. And, despite all the pain and suffering over this time period, we have been blessed in many ways.

The fever TP had a couple of evenings ago has now subsided - and she took care of it herself rather than having me watch over her. Her eyes are improving, and I did find out that there will NOT be any permanent eye damage. DQ's infection seems to be improving. And, we received news from TP's doctor today that TP NO LONGER HAS TO TAKE HER IMMUNOSUPPRESSANT MEDICATIONS!!! She is totally off of them - much quicker than we anticipated!!!! What a miracle! But, of course, that was the message that the "Man in the moon" was trying to convey to me, wasn't it???