A Miracle and an Angel

Twenty one years ago tonight, I was in a hospital room, drinking gallons of nasty medicine to clean out my system for my hysterectomy the next day.

I was absolutely terrified. I was ready to call off the surgery. I had never been under anesthesia, nor had I ever been in a hospital. The surgery was to remove a several benign tumors, a huge endometrial mass caused by endometriosis, and all of my female organs. What I was most frightened of was waking up and having the oncologist who was performing the surgery tell me that I had cancer, as there was a possibility of ovarian cancer.

The doctor I had was wonderful. He described what he would be doing, he was very calm and confident, and he sincerely cared about my well being. He was very well known not only for his bedside manner but his keen surgical skills as a gynecological oncologist. I remember telling him about my biggest fear of waking up and hearing his voice saying "it's cancer".

I didn't sleep well at all that night. There was a lady next door who was vomiting every 5 minutes. They knew for certain she had ovarian cancer, so they decided to operate on her first thing in the morning at 7 a.m., which was my original time slot. They told me it would take about 4 hours, and I should be ready to go to the O.R. by noon. So, needless to say, everytime I heard the distinctive surgery ring from the phone, I jumped, thinking they were summoning me as the next patient to be wheeled downstairs. I was finally summoned at 4:00 p.m., as the lady's surgery took much longer than anticipated. At about 4:30, a nurse came in and gave me a shot of some wonderful medicine (which I found out later was Demerol) which let me not have a care in the world as my gurney took me away to my fate. I noticed my husband smiling at me, and the aides having a bewildered look in their eyes when they looked at me - and it wasn't until the next day that my husband explained that I was saying some pretty stupid things on my way to surgery.

I do remember getting into the O.R. and Dr. Bell was waiting for me. By this time, it was close to 5:30, and he apologized for being so late. I was feeling rather magnanomous by that time, and told him that it was quite all right, he could keep me waiting anytime. He smiled and started asking me questions about my home town, and then everything went black. It seemed like two seconds later, I was in recovery, and my body was shaking because I was so cold. Dr. Bell asked me a couple of questions like what day it was, where was I, etc. , and then he said "Val, it wasn't cancer". I just smiled, and said "Thank God, and thank you", and I went back to sleep. I was now on my way to recuperating from the emotional and physical trauma my mind and body had just went through. It was, indeed, a miracle from God. And it paved the way for my next miracle, when, six and a half months later, I became a mom of my beautiful adopted daughter, TP.

What touched me the most during this whole ordeal was something special which Dr. Bell did for me. My surgery took about 5 hours to perform, which would mean I was finished by around 10:30. He waited by my bedside for me to wake up, which was at around midnight. By this time, he had been at the hospital for almost 20 hours straight. He actually remembered that my biggest fear was hearing the words that I had cancer, and he wanted to make sure that I woke up to the sound of his voice telling me I was cancer-free. It was the voice of an angel that greeted me through the foggy remnants of the anesthesia, to deliver that miraculous message.

And, by the way, I owe a big "thank you" to my husband througout this whole ordeal. He was my rock. He helped me through it - and he was very patient and kind and loving even when I was not. I told him tonight that, in a way, I wish it was 21 years ago so that I could re-live these years all over again. He looked at me like I was nuts, and said he liked where he was right now in his life. Don't get me wrong - I like where I am, too, for the most part - but I would dearly love to re-live the times again when the girls were little. It was so much fun, there was so much love and laughter.

Twenty one years ago, I was given a second chance at life. I am so grateful for that, because without it, I never would have had the beautiful experience of being my kid's mom. I love you, girls!!!