Monday, October 13, 2008

Autumn Weekends

It was a gorgeous weekend - the weather was warm, low humidity, sunny skies, and beautiful colors on the leaves.

It was Seniors Parents' Day at the football game, where all the band parents who have seniors in the band were honored at halftime. It was really, really nice - and, of course, I had tears in my eyes. Then, that evening, we hosted a band party for the kids, and we had quite a house full of guests. We grilled hot dogs and hamburgs, and had tons of snacks. Later, we had a bonfire (getting rid of all that brush from the storm from a couple of weeks ago) and with the full moon, it was just perfect. The kids had a blast - it was fun to watch them play "Ghosts in the Graveyard" on our front lawn, and it left us wondering if they were 7 rather than 17 years old! After our guests left, DQ had a "few" of her friends spend the night - and of course, they didn't get to bed until around 4 or 5 a.m. They had to get up by 7:30, so breakfast was rather silent. Then, DQ had to get ready for her Senior Pictures for graduation. The photographer has a studio in her own home, but the majority of the pictures were taking outside, with the brightly colored woods as a natural background. We even took our family picture for Christmas at the same time. By the time we got home at around 4:00, DQ was ready for a nap! She has a busy week ahead of her, and then there is another football game on Friday, a competition on Saturday, and the Senior Retreat on Sunday/Monday. Soon, she will be filling out her college applications and scholarship essays and taking her driver's ed classes. It's going by so, so quickly!

I have decided to not post anything anymore about my oldest daughter, as she gets upset when I do. She is an adult now, and I will respect her feelings. Please continue to keep her in your prayers. It's hard to NOT write about her because she is such an integral part of my life and our family's life, so when I don't write about her, it feels like she has been written out of the family - and nothing could be further from the truth, but I do need to honor her request of not writing about her. She will always be my daughter, no matter what; she will always be a part of our family; and we pray that she will return to us and to her faith at some point in time. I don't know when or how that will happen, but I have faith in the Lord that He still is by her side, encouraging her to do the right things in her life and to come back home to Him and to us.

I'm planning a short vacation this coming weekend. Actually, it's been in the works for over a month, but I just had to wait and see if I could find a place to stay. The stress and emotional upheaval of the last six months has taken such a powerful toll on my health and my well-being, so I have decided to just spend some quiet time alone. I plan to spend a lot of time reading and praying and writing. And then, when I get back home, I plan on going to the doctor to get some medical tests run which I've been neglecting for a long time - out of fear and out of not wanting to have to deal with yet another stressor in my life. I must admit, the emotional pain of the past six months has been the worst kind of pain I have ever been through in my whole life. Words can't describe the range of emotions which these events have caused me. My husband and my youngest daughter are very, very concerned for me. In all honesty, I am concerned for me as well. I don't know when this pain will end, and it's possible it may never end, but I do know I have experienced God's loving comfort and strength through it all. This weekend will serve as the beginning point of my healing, though. I need to move beyond always focusing on the pain, and start focusing on regaining my strength and my inner peace so that I can continue on the path of being a good wife, a good mom, and a good counselor.

So, I hope all is well with all of you, and that you have a wonderful week!


At 9:25 AM, Anonymous ProphetJoe said...

"All we have to fear is fear itself" Get the medical tests done, now. No matter what the outcome, you will not suffer with the weight of the unknown. (And you know that even if you've been telling yourself that it's nothing, your mind is telling you something else)

What's the worst that will happen? It you have a disease, it's better to treat it now rather than wait. If you don't have anything wrong, then your conscience will feel better sooner too!

As far as TP goes, we will continue to hope and prayer for her and her spiritual life. we will also pray for you and your family as well. It's what friends do for each other...

Enjoy your mini-vacation and peace to you and your family, Val.

At 4:05 PM, Blogger PJ said...

I'm so sorry I've lost touch with you over the last few months. I will be praying for you for strength and peace.

Grown children are very difficult to deal with. (Voice of experience here!) It's tough to see then make mistakes that they won't even acknowledge, and at the same time reject any help or direction. However, prayer really does move mountains.

The important thing is (and I know you know this) that you can accept that it is NOT your fault..nor your responsibility. How many times have you said that to a client? But (again experience) it's much more difficult when it is person.

I'll be praying for you. Should you want to communicate privately, just click the "email" link on my profile should you want to talk.

AND...waiting for medical tests does NOT make things better NOR less stressful. Go! By all means and have the tests done.

Prayers and Blessings.


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