Two Months

It will be two months ago tomorrow that TP left here and moved away. I hear from her sometimes.

Words can't begin to describe what it's been like without her. In some ways, it is like a death. In all ways, it is an almost unbearable loss.

I am functioning better as time goes on. I am still a mom to DQ, who is a senior and definitely experiencing "senioritis" and who has been having some serious heath problems of her own. My private practice is still going strong. I am trying to discern God's will for what He wants me to do with the rest of my life, now that the tasks of motherhood are cosuming less of my time, but not necessarily less of my prayers or my thoughts.

It boils down to one major challenge/hurdle/issue - I miss her. I miss her hugs. I miss spending time with her - going to church with her, going to lunch, going shopping, watching "Gilmore Girls" with her, helping her, comforting her, listening to her talk about her day, laughing with her. But, most of all, I miss hearing her say, everyday, "I love you, Momma." There is a huge void in my life which I can't seem to fill and time can't seem to erase. Grief has settled in my heart, and it feels so heavy right now.

I don't talk to others about it much anymore, even my husband. I pray a lot - and God has helped me through this so much with His grace and comforth and strength. My husband has been a rock. My youngest is worried about me, and I try so hard to stay focused on her needs right now, but she knows I am still sad.

I know you've been wondering how I've been doing - and now you know. I plan to begin to write more frequently, but I needed this break to just go through all of this privately. I have felt your prayers, and I appreciate them.