DQ

The majority of my entries have dealth with issues relating to TP, my 17 year old daughter who has chronic lupus nephritis. I DO have another daughter, my Drama Queen, who is 14 going on 30. She's quite the character, to put it mildly.

She kind of dropped out of the heavens and into our lives one day. I remember the day perfectly. I had just returned from a morning visit to the zoo with TP- it was a gorgeous morning at the very, very beginning of March. TP was almost three, and I recall thinking as we walked around the zoo how much I loved her, and how I didn't want anything to happen to change the special bond between us. And then, that very afternoon, I received a phone call from our lawyer. Totally unexpected. I can't really go into too much detail here in order to protect DQ's identity (both of our kids went through a closed adoption) - but suffice it to say, we were parents again within 10 days of that phone call! And the rest, as they say, is history. . .

DQ has always been very bright - she's extremely intelligent. I'll never forget how I had been reading some new books to her one evening when she was four, so I picked up a book she had never seen before, and I said to her "Here - why don't you read this to me?". So, she took the book into her tiny hands, and opened up the book - and she actually began to read. I was so dumbfounded, I didn't know what to say at first. Finally, after about 3 pages, I said "DQ - how long have you known how to read?". She smiled and said "For a long time, Mommy - but I like it best when you read to me!". So, who knows how long before that she had actually been reading. She absorbs everything she hears, reads, and watches. One morning when she was in first grade, she said something to me (I don't recall now what it was), and then she said "Mom, is that an example of an idiom?". I just looked at her, then stretched back into the recesses of my mind to remember the definition of an idiom, then told her that yes, indeed, that was an example of an idiom.

Her intelligence is a blessing, but it can also be a curse. Because she is so bright, the expectations by her teachers are, to some extent, beyond her abilities. You see, she also has ADD (not with the hyperactivity component - but the inattentive kind with an inaiblity to focus and stay on task). You can imagine the difficulties this has placed not only on DQ, but us as her parents, too. I will write more as time goes on about this topic, as I know it touches quite a few parents and children out there - and I want to tell them right now that having ADD is NOT your fault. Enough said for now.

DQ has also experienced much cruelty from her peers over the past two years. Sometime in the next few days, I will post an entry about her experiences in 7th and 8th grade at a supposedly Christian school. She is biracial, and she had never experienced any kind of prejudice or racist remarks or treatment up until she entered the 7th grade. She will not be returning to that school this fall, but the past two years have been pure hell for her (and, for the rest of us, too).

DQ is aptly nicknamed the "Drama Queen" for two reasons. One is that she truly puts a lot of drama into her actions and reactions, and two, she wants to become an actress and a director. I have mixed feelings about her desire to move to New York and make it big someday - all I can tell her right now is that she WILL get a college education before she does anything else.

She's a very sensitive child, and has seen her sister suffer with lupus. This was very frightening for her to watch. Couple that with all that was going on in school over the past couple of years - and she certainly has been through a lot.

Through it all, both of my girls have developed a deeper relationship with each other, with us, and with the Lord. My husband and I have been blessed with these two young ladies, and I am proud to say that "I am my kid's mom!".