Sunday, July 31, 2005



DQ

The majority of my entries have dealth with issues relating to TP, my 17 year old daughter who has chronic lupus nephritis. I DO have another daughter, my Drama Queen, who is 14 going on 30. She's quite the character, to put it mildly.

She kind of dropped out of the heavens and into our lives one day. I remember the day perfectly. I had just returned from a morning visit to the zoo with TP- it was a gorgeous morning at the very, very beginning of March. TP was almost three, and I recall thinking as we walked around the zoo how much I loved her, and how I didn't want anything to happen to change the special bond between us. And then, that very afternoon, I received a phone call from our lawyer. Totally unexpected. I can't really go into too much detail here in order to protect DQ's identity (both of our kids went through a closed adoption) - but suffice it to say, we were parents again within 10 days of that phone call! And the rest, as they say, is history. . .

DQ has always been very bright - she's extremely intelligent. I'll never forget how I had been reading some new books to her one evening when she was four, so I picked up a book she had never seen before, and I said to her "Here - why don't you read this to me?". So, she took the book into her tiny hands, and opened up the book - and she actually began to read. I was so dumbfounded, I didn't know what to say at first. Finally, after about 3 pages, I said "DQ - how long have you known how to read?". She smiled and said "For a long time, Mommy - but I like it best when you read to me!". So, who knows how long before that she had actually been reading. She absorbs everything she hears, reads, and watches. One morning when she was in first grade, she said something to me (I don't recall now what it was), and then she said "Mom, is that an example of an idiom?". I just looked at her, then stretched back into the recesses of my mind to remember the definition of an idiom, then told her that yes, indeed, that was an example of an idiom.

Her intelligence is a blessing, but it can also be a curse. Because she is so bright, the expectations by her teachers are, to some extent, beyond her abilities. You see, she also has ADD (not with the hyperactivity component - but the inattentive kind with an inaiblity to focus and stay on task). You can imagine the difficulties this has placed not only on DQ, but us as her parents, too. I will write more as time goes on about this topic, as I know it touches quite a few parents and children out there - and I want to tell them right now that having ADD is NOT your fault. Enough said for now.

DQ has also experienced much cruelty from her peers over the past two years. Sometime in the next few days, I will post an entry about her experiences in 7th and 8th grade at a supposedly Christian school. She is biracial, and she had never experienced any kind of prejudice or racist remarks or treatment up until she entered the 7th grade. She will not be returning to that school this fall, but the past two years have been pure hell for her (and, for the rest of us, too).

DQ is aptly nicknamed the "Drama Queen" for two reasons. One is that she truly puts a lot of drama into her actions and reactions, and two, she wants to become an actress and a director. I have mixed feelings about her desire to move to New York and make it big someday - all I can tell her right now is that she WILL get a college education before she does anything else.

She's a very sensitive child, and has seen her sister suffer with lupus. This was very frightening for her to watch. Couple that with all that was going on in school over the past couple of years - and she certainly has been through a lot.

Through it all, both of my girls have developed a deeper relationship with each other, with us, and with the Lord. My husband and I have been blessed with these two young ladies, and I am proud to say that "I am my kid's mom!".

6 Comments:

At 3:31 PM, Blogger Paula said...

Thanks for introducing me to DQ! My trumpet boy is going into 9th grade in a couple of weeks. I remember 7th grade was so bad (because of the teachers, and he was getting left behind), that I took him out of school and home schooled him just for one year. It was the best year and he matured so much that year. I wouldn't trade that year for the world. Kids are so very cruel. My neice is biracial, and she gets teased. Ro from Ciao My Bella's children are biracial, so I bet she can relate. Thanks for leaving me a comment at my site today. I am so blessed to have blogging friends like you!

 
At 11:34 PM, Blogger My Kid's Mom said...

Paula: I did home schooling with DQ for the last quarter of this past year to get her out of that hostile environment - and it was the best thing I ever did. She responded so well to the one on one contact with me, and she got all A's, too.

 
At 9:39 AM, Blogger Paula said...

Just wanted you to know I stopped by for a visit today. Hope both of your girls are doing good! Have a blessed day!

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger Mrs. Diamond said...

so, ummm...what exactly is an "idiom" anyway? (grin)

 
At 6:32 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

Glad to hear more about DQ! She sounds like a lovely girl. Sorry to hear about her problems with school, and I hope that a new school will be better for her.

 
At 7:09 PM, Blogger Barbara said...

My two are nearly 16 (boy) and 13 (girl) - we call her a bit of a drama queen too......

I had tears in my eyes reading your post - we owe so much to our children - and when they hurt - we oh so much want to take that hurt away and when it is an emotional pain, it is oh so difficualt to bear for them.

I do hope that the new school work s out (or are you going to continue with homeschooling?)

Our daughter starts Year 9 in a different campus to where she has been for the last two years since starting at secondary school. It was very touching when she voiced her concerns about it and her brother said that she should not worry as he would be there to look after her....He will be in year 11 and it is a big year for him as he has his GCSE's to do next year - if he does well enough he will stay on to do two more years after that and then college when he is 18...

I will pray for your DQ and TP...God will bless them I am sure..his ways are not our ways!

I have gone on too long. Sorry.

 

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