Sunday, March 11, 2007

A Double LIfe

When a person says one thing to me, and yet is saying or doing something entirely different when not in front of me, I am bewildered by it. Not only does this affect the trust within the relationship, but it also lets me know that this person is covering up for their behaviors because they know their behaviors are wrong.

It must be very difficult for this person to lead a double life. To be pretending to be a certain way with me, all the while knowing underneath that the lies are covering up the truth of what is going on. How exhausting it must be to be involved in this kind of conflict - to lie, to have to make up stories, to pray that the lies and deceit are not found out. When it becomes easier to lie, then the relationship has been diminished greatly. The person who is lying has lost all respect for the other person, and vice-versa.

It is painful to watch this occur. All I can do is pray that this person finally decides that TRUTH needs to be the foundation of our relationship. I hate being lied to. I hate watching how the lies erode the trust and respect within our relationship. I hate feeling hurt and angry when I know the lies are being told, yet I don't say a word, hoping that this person will eventually come to me with the truth. If I did confront this person that I know about the lies and deceit, then it would defeat the purpose of this person taking responsibility for all that has transpired and telling me the truth and asking for forgiveness. Besides, more than likely this person would deny telling me the lies.

I just pray that when this person finally does come to me, that it is not too late. I will always love this person, but I will not be taken for a fool. There will come a point in time where the trust will be so broken, the respect so lost, that the relationship may never be able to be repaired to the way it used to be.

May God open up this person's heart and soul so that His grace and love can enter, showing this person that this kind of deception is evil and hurtful and can cause rifts which are very difficult to heal.


At 10:04 PM, Blogger annb said...

Valerie, I will certainly pray for your situation. I don't understand when people "deceive" another - especially someone close. Lies can only take a person so far and then it will all fall apart. I know how difficult it is to be deceived by another and my prayers are with you.

At 9:37 AM, Blogger ukok said...

It's good to hear from you here on the blog, I do look forward to your postings :-)

However, I am sorry to learn about the deceitfulness of this person whom you refer to. I think it must be hard for a liar to back down without losing face...and thus the lies perpetuate. I couldn't live like that and I refuse to tolerate being lied to.

Only recently someone told a lie about me and I made it perfectly clear to the person (and to those listening) that this was not so at all. It is frustrating and annoying and more than a little childish.

I will remember this person you mention in my prayers and pray that they allow their heart to be softened and begin to have an awareness of the gravity of the effects of their lies, upon all whom they are told to.



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