Thursday, June 29, 2006



A Trial Run

As I stated in my previous post, I have been giving a lot of thought as to what changes I want to make with my blog. I am still mulling it over. One of the ideas I came up with was to somehow try to get a discussion going amongst my readers about their thoughts or opinions regarding certain issues - and not all the issues will be in relation to parenting, but most of them will be related to morality. I have decided to give this format a trial run to see how it goes. One of these "issues" came to light on my recent trip to Michigan, and so I'd like to ask you what your opinions are, and then after all is said and done, I will explain my point of view and what circumstances led me to ask you about it.

So, this topic is certainly one that I get asked quite frequently as a professional, and I have discussed it with my girls as well. It's definitely an emotionally-charged issue, so I am asking you to keep this civil if you disagree with each other. I'm a firm believer that you can still be gracious even when disagreeing.

The question is - should parents of teenage girls put them on birth control pills or provide them with other forms of "protection" to reduce the chances of pregnancy and/or contracting an STD? If so, why; and if not, why not?

The floor is open for discussion. . .

16 Comments:

At 10:44 PM, Blogger Mrs. Diamond said...

I think parents of teenage girls should lock them up until they turn 38. Just to be safe. ;)

 
At 11:07 PM, Blogger Nettie said...

If they ask for it, maybe. Which I doubt many would. I dunno, I just believe in abstinence before marriage adn even though it seems they'll do it anyway...why encourage it? Maybe open discusison is the answer...maybe then more will ask.

 
At 3:04 AM, Blogger ukok said...

Absolutely not.

Reason; It's better to teach children the importance of living chaste lives and to glorify God with their bodies. Sex will come in time, when they are married. Sex outside the context of the marital union is nothing more than a shallow means of self gratification.

I could go on but I'm heading out the door to the presbytery so I'll write more later if I get time when I get home.

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger Kevin said...

I don't have children, so I don't have the emotional investment in the issue or the expertise that comes from "hands on" experience. That said: how could providing them with contraceptives be construed by them as anything other than an implicit asseryion by the parents that either (1) they don't trust the children to have the strength of character to be able to exercise their free will to "do the right thing," i.e., abstain, or (2) that the parents don't really believe in what they preach (no sex outside of marriage)? To me, it sends the completely wrong message. If the children are going to ignore their parents' wishes and instruction, they'll obtain contraceptives of some sort from sources other than the parents. Why have the parents' actions make them appear to be hypocrites? My 2 cents worth.

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger Paula said...

When I was growing up my Mom told me that she was a virgin when she married my dad and wanted me to be a virgin when I married, but if I couldn't wait, to come to her and she'd get me protection. As for my own daughter, I'd probably tell her the same thing. I doubt she'd come to me because she'll know how I feel about premarital sex, but I hope that she would.

 
At 8:56 AM, Blogger Paula said...

That being said, I wouldn't outright go and get her protection because she's dating or in a serious relationship.

 
At 8:04 PM, Blogger Alabama said...

Man oh man, you don't mess around do you? LOL I'm not touching this one. Sorry I haven't been around in awhile but THANK YOU for not giving up on me and your continuence at my blog.

I do look forward to the next topic though.

 
At 5:42 PM, Blogger e-Mom said...

No, I would definitely not give my children contraceptives. Our children (a boy and a girl) are now in their early 20's and both are still virgins. We've "preached" abstinence from day 1, and cited our own chaste courtship as an example to follow... not to mention the commands of Scripture. (Very significant to kids!) On our daughter's 16th birthday we gave her a lovely silver Celtic knot "promise ring" (her choice). On our son's 16th birthday we gave him a handsome silver "sexual abstinence" key ring (his choice). Both are socially well-adjusted young adults and both have had plenty of dating opportunities. We give both of our children LOTS of physical affection (hugs, kisses etc.) and we've screened for pornography on the internet and their movies/videos/DVD's. Moral of story... parents must be lovingly pro-active in this area or the inevitable WILL happen. We plan to continue our active parenting, although we will soon be empty-nesters. Our kids consider us some of their very best friends (and vice versa) because we've joyfully invested so much of our time in them. BTW, I've been a SAHM, and that helps too. God bless, and thanks for asking!

 
At 11:01 PM, Blogger Jeff H said...

First: birth control pills do not prevent STDs--only abstinence or condoms (and condoms are far from 100% effective for preventing either STDs or pregnancy).

Second: If you've raised them right, you have little to fear, but even then, sit them down and have a VERY frank discussion. Tell them in no uncertain terms what God expects, what you expect--and what they should expect from themselves. Finally, make it plain that if they get pregnant or contract an STD, they are responsible for dealing with those consequences themselves--you'll still love them and support them (emotionally, spiritually), but they have to deal with the consequences.

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger JodiTucker said...

My 17 year old is actually on birth control pills...However, they were prescribed by our family physician in my presence for my daughter's fairly severe acne.
(She does have very clear skin now.) We have talked at length when the girls were younger and up through the present about God's view of sex and how we can please God most by loving Him through obedience......waiting til marriage to "become one flesh" with your mate. That being said, there are a plethora of pregnant girls at our high school. When I ask my girls who is watching the baby when the girl returns to high school, the answer is usually "grandma." (and our welfare system-----most of the male teen fathers are out of the picture entirely.)......I ask my girls....Is this how God intended things to be? They know it's not.
ALOT of babysitting and working in the church nursery seems to be a natural birth control method seeing that real babies take ALOT of time and love and energy, etc.
Ultimtately, we've tried to tell and model to our kids (21, 19, and 17) that they (as they are older) are responsible to God because we will not be there to monitor their actions 24/7. He is there to love them and meet their needs as they allow Him to lead their lives daily....His leading comes from our gratitude for Christ's death and resurrection, then obedience follows with conscious decisions.

 
At 4:52 PM, Blogger JodiTucker said...

I forgot one thing......We had the girls read the book "and the Bride Wore White" by Dannah Gresh and our son read "Who Moved the Goalpost?" by Bob Gresh before any dating was even allowed. Both books are excellent!! Sexual purity is not just an issue for teens, but adults, too. These books go into that, also.

 
At 6:09 PM, Blogger heathermka said...

Wow. Speaking from a teeange point of view, i guess it depends.

I don't believe in waiting until you are married, necessarily. I certainly don't believe it's always meaningless when you are not married. I think it's a personal choice. I certainly don't think people who have non-marital sex are bad people or immoral, no more than i think that people who don't believe in sex before marriage are better people.

With regards to birth control, again, personal choice. Surely, at a certain age, it is up to the individual and not the parents. One day, you have to let go, and understand that it is no longer YOUR choice. It is your son/daughter's choice.

We are all just people, who choose to live our lives differently. Either decision does not make one a bad person or immoral.

It is a very sad world, if people consider their child better than another's simply because they abstained from sex before marriage. Nobody is ever better than anybody else.

 
At 11:41 PM, Blogger Darlene said...

For me it would be like telling my daughter not to go to the beach and then buying her a hot pink bikini just incase she does.

I will only go as far as educating them morally and scientifically, and hope they make wise decisions.

 
At 11:43 PM, Blogger Darlene said...

Just out of curiosity, I asked my teenage son what he thought, and I was surprised at his answer.

He said that giving them birth control would be showing them that you don't have any trust in them. I thought that was a good answer, because I remember the trust my parents had in me often was the very thing that kept me out of trouble.

 
At 12:58 AM, Blogger Kevin said...

"Nobody is ever better than anybody else."

And Osama bin-Laden is no worse than Mother Teresa and she no better than he? If you believe that, seriously, then you're lost. Hope you find your way back.

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger Bill said...

I so admire parents who teach their kids the right thing and then support them when they make a mistake anyway. Yes, it may mean helping them through pregnancy and child-rearing. We often rationalize that a baby would ruin our child's life. But that's just not true. A ruined life is a by-product of bad attitude... not bad mistakes. God just wants our obedience, not our worldly rationalizations and opinions.

 

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