Thursday, May 21, 2009

Drawing to a Close

DQ's high school days are rapidly drawing to a close. Even though she still has a total of five more days of school, today was the last day of wearing her school uniform. Now, I definitely am NOT going to miss ironing those things and the white shirts which go along with them - but it tugged at my heartstrings as I watched her walk down the stairs today and thinking about all the other days, since kindergarten, she walked down those same stairs in uniform ready for another day school. Lots of memories came flooding back! And, as always, she didn't want me to take her picture.

The band concert on Tuesday was beautiful. They all looked so professional with the white shirts and black skirts/pants - and they sounded wonderful. It was the last official "performance" that I will ever attend (as a mom), and again, my eyes as a mother got all teary-eyed as I recalled performances of the past - which began 18 years ago when TP was in preschool. The very first performance I went to was a little recital done by TP's preschool class, and TP just loved singing with her classmates. She was keeping rythym to the music, and all of the sudden, decided to lift up her red dress and show off her belly button! It was hilarious - and so cute - she had no idea what she was doing. And all of the other performances came to mind - piano, Christmas plays, Brownie Scout activities (I was the leader for 6 years), dance recitals, violin recitals, band, cheerleading, plays. . . But, these memories of a mother's heart are what keeps me grateful for being my kids' mom. Even during the difficult times, and through the joyful celebrations, I will ALWAYS feel blessed to have been the mother of my two precious girls. I know there will be more precious memories coming ahead in the future, just of a different nature.

This weekend promises to a busy one, in preparation for DQ's graduation on the 30th. Her open house is the 31st. Then, on June 8th, she is going to North Carolina for a week with her best friends and stay at a beach house. When she gets back, she will need to work hard to save up money for college, which begins in September. She's going to our local branch of OSU, and will be studying English/Secondary Education. Once she is done with her Bachelor's, she is going to teach for awhile while pursuing her Master's Degree in Creative Writing and Renassaince Studies. Eventually, she wants to get her Ph.D. - but in the meantime, she will be working on her first book. She will go far in life - she has the motivation and the talent and discipline to stay on course to pursue her dream. (BTW - the work on my book has finally begun.)

As always, I am missing TP. I pray for her everday - her health and safety and emotional well-being are my top concerns right now, as they have always been. I have been reading about St. Monica lately, and thinking of the words which were spoken to her by a bishop in reference to her prodigal son, "it is not possible that the son of so many tears should perish." I am praying for guidance and wisdom and forgiveness and compassion. But the love remains forever. I will always be her "momma", her adoptive mother, and her spiritual mother. Those bonds will never be broken.

So, I am off to TRY to do as much as possible today. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold which is really making me feel ill (don't think it's the swine flu!), so I may not get done as much as I'd like to. It's a gorgeous May day out there -so perhaps the outside windows will get washed today!

Thank you, dear Lord, for all that you have given to me.


At 8:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's so good to hear that you seem encouraged in spite of your lousy illness. It's fun to recall with you those precious preschool memories of little girls unself-consciously lifting their skirts. Remember the thrill of TWIRLING around in a dress?

It's wonderful to hear you call yourself the "spiritual mother" of your girls. Your family has a very high bar set accomplishment and I admire the hard work and diligence. I know you have many desires for both of your girls to make marks in this world. Sometimes, we find ourselves deeply grateful that our kids are "simply" ALIVE. Who would ever think such a thing could happen when we believed it was our responsibility to raise "great" kids, great "contributors" in this world?

As I just thought about your experiences and mine, the Lord brought to mind that, fortunately, the Bible records the "fame" of the prodigal's life. Also, a "woman of the streets--a prostitute" anointed Jesus' feet with her tears, expensive perfume, and wiped Him with her hair. "Jesus turned to the woman and said to Simon, "Look! See this woman kneeling here! When I entered your home, you didn't bother to offer me water to wash the dust from my feet, but she has washed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair....Therefore her sins--and they are many--are forgiven for she loved me much; but one who is forgiven little, shows little love." And He said to her, "Your sins are forgiven...Your faith has saved you; go in peace." (Matt. 7: 44-50)

He came to redeem me from my sins, not my "perfection", praise Him!

Lazarus' and Martha's sister Mary did a similar act to the woman of the streets and Jesus said "I tell you this solemn truth, that wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world, this woman's deed will be remembered and praised." (Mark 14: 3-9)

Just as we follow blogs of families who are glorifying God through the deaths and severe health afflictions of their little ones, we have to seek HIS fame through our losses and struggles.

Again, it's so good to note you feel the rising Sun today. This is one of my favorite verses: "But for you who fear My name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in His wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture." (Malachi 4:2)

I will keep praying for you and your family. The Lord often brings you to mind.

In Him, Michal

At 11:03 PM, Anonymous annb said...

Hope you're feeling better! Sounds like DQ is doing great and has awesome plans for her future! I continue to pray for TP and for your family!


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