Once Again

Here I am, once again.

It has been ages since I have posted on here on a consistent basis. I vascillate between wondering whether I should close down this blog forever, whether I should just keep it open for a reminder of the journey I have been through over the past several years, or whether I should start blogging once again.

If I started blogging again, where would I even begin? How would I begin? What would I say, and what would I refrain from saying?

All I know is that I have so much weighing on my heart right now, and I want so much to just write and write and write. . . but I know that there is so much that is better left unwritten and just kept in my heart.

Suffice it to say that it's been another year full of anguish. The one joy in my life is my little granddaughter, who brings warmth and laughter and love into my soul. She is the reason I keep on going every day.

I have lost so much this year. Relationships. And love. And I feel abandoned by so many - especially God. Why? Why do I keep on losing those whom I love?

Answers never come. Only silence. And the silence is often broken by the unbearable sobs which are accompanied by bitter tears.

2012. I wonder what this year will bring. I have no prayers left, unfortunately. Not ever answered. Not ever acknowledged. Not ever heard. I am lost. I am so very, very lost.

Matthew West - The Heart of Christmas

My wish is for my family to be together this Christmas. To laugh, to love, to be the way we used to be. . . I miss the closeness and the desire to spend time with one another. I'm asking for a miracle.

Please pray for my oldest daugther

I know it's been ages since I have posted. I have wanted to start writing again - but the words just done't come as easily as they used to. In the meantime, however, I do have an urgent prayer request for you.

My oldest daughter, as many of you know, has lupus nephritis. She has now developed lupus arthritis. The past couple of days, she is experiencing some significant symptoms which I believe can be attributed to another lupus nephritis flare. Please, please pray that God is with her during this time, and touches her body and mind and soul with His healing. It was 6 years ago tomorrow that she was so gravely ill at Children's Hospital (you can search my blog in November 2005 for that experience) - so the timing of this is a bit unnerving.

I love you, Sara, so much. I am here for you if you need me.

Susan Boyle performs 'Unchained Melody'

BREATHTAKING!!!!!

The Best Day - Taylor Swift

It's Me Again

I am trying to decide whether or not to resurrect this blog, or branch out into different forms of writing. This blog has been dormant for awhile for many reasons, but I feel the need to begin writing again. Do I stay here, do I start a new blog, do I pursue other opportunities, do I begin to get very serious about my writing and aim to get published someday?

Life has had many twists and turns lately. Please keep me and my little family in your prayers. I think of all of my "old" friends that I have through this blog, and keep you in my prayers and wonder how you are doing. Some of you I have kept up with on Facebook, others of you have virtually dropped off the radar. I'd like to hear from ALL of you!

God bless. . . .

EWTN Family Prayer - For Those Who Have Left the Church