Racism still exists

I am not an expert on racism, by any means. I am a Caucasian female, and while I think there have been times I was discriminated against due to my gender, I've never really experienced discrimination because of my race. As a white person in this society, I don't know what it's like to be called names or hear racial slurs flung towards me with hate. I don't know what it's like to be given treated poorly or looked down upon because of the color of my skin. Nonetheless, I do know that racism still exists.

I am the mom of an adopted biracial daughter. My husband and I knew there would be "issues" surrounding the fact that DQ is biracial, and before the adoption we discussed whether or not we were going to be able to deal with those issues as they came up. We didn't adopt her for noble reasons. We knew she needed a home. We needed/wanted another baby - and we could have waited another six months or so to get another white baby. But when our lawyer called and said DQ needed a mom and dad immediately, we knew it was meant to be.

Initially, there were the typical adjustments of getting used to a new baby in the family. The oldest daughter, TP, immediately fell in love with DQ, and there was no jealousy. Our family, friends, and church community were very accepting of the newest member of our family. for the most part. The general public greeted us with stares, at times, and some comments were made, but most of them were positive in nature. I'll never forget the time some elderly black women were just making a fuss over DQ, and one of them leaned over and whispered to me, "There'll be a special place in heaven for you, sweetie". Throughout preschool and grade school, DQ was very accepted and loved for who she was - a bright and precocious girl with a beautiful smile which melted your heart.

In seventh grade, we decided to send DQ to a different school where her sister already attended high school. This school combined junior high and high school together, and it was in a smaller town 20 miles to the north of here, and a school bus was provided for transportation. TP had been welcomed there with open arms, and was benefitting immensely from the smaller class size and personalized attention at that time (this, too, has changed - but I will save that post for a later time).

Seventh grade was very hard for DQ, however. The kids in her class were (and still remain) extremely rude and obnoxious. They didn't allow for "differences" of any kind for any person, and were quick to put down others who weren't like them. They didn't listen to the teachers or the administrators, and they were known (quite frankly) as "the class from hell". You know it's pretty serious when the religion teacher tells you, in confidence, that the girls in DQ's class were the worst he had known in his 50 years of teaching. He even said to me "Valerie - you wouldn't want DQ to be a friend with any of those girls".

I gave DQ the option when it came time for her to go into 8th grade (a year ago) as to whether or not she wanted to return to that school or go back to the school she had attended up until 7th grade. She ultimately decided to return to that school, stating that she wanted to be able to teach the girls how to be nice and kind to others. I went to the principal of the school before the school year started, and discussed my concerns to him. He assured me that he and the teachers would keep an eye on things, and so I gave DQ the go ahead to return.

We would ultimately live to regret that decision. I will continue this post in a couple of days.