Tuesday, January 31, 2006



The Transformation

TP spent last Thursday night in a dorm at the college which she will be attending in the fall. I dropped her off at around 6:00p.m., and with a hug and an "I love you", she was entrusted to a sophomore nursing student for the next 18 hours.

The next day, I picked her up, and we had lunch before our appointment with a financial aid counselor (ugh). She talked non-stop about the midnight snack run to a local home-made bakery for doughnuts, about meeting new friends, about how she announced the call letters on the student radio station, and how they stayed up to 3:00a.m. She was animated, and when she came up for a breath of air, I asked her "So, this is THE place, isn't it?".

She reflected for a moment before saying, "You know, Mom, when a place just feels 'right' - when you just know in your heart that this is where you should be? Well, this feels like I was meant to be here". Her confident answer spoke to my heart, and helped to allay my fears that perhaps this college wasn't where she should go.

I feel her inching away from me - barely imperceptible movements of independence - as evidenced by needing me less and relying on herself more. This tugs at my heartstrings - where did that little one go whose arms would encircle my neck and say "You're the BEST mommy in the world"? Then, I realize that she's here, right next to me, saying "Mom, when I get to college, can I come home anytime I want to for a home-cooked meal?". The transformation from that little 3 year old into this almost 18 year old is breathtaking. Her spirit and love remains the same, it's just "packaged" differently.

God bless my little princess as she continues on her journey without me there to help her in case she falls, without me to there to help kiss away the pain, and without me there to envelope her in safety and warmth. My job is almost done - and while I am sad, I am also so very proud of the young lady she has become.

14 Comments:

At 2:49 PM, Blogger Jeff H said...

Hey, I know it must be tough--but realize that you've obviously done exactly what God wanted you to do: raise her to be a woman after His own heart.

Be proud of that.

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger Darlene said...

That was so well written Val, it encapsulated the feelings that so many mothers have when their kids leave home.

 
At 8:19 PM, Blogger Rebekah Christine said...

As Jeff said, what a wonderful job you must have done. My heart is overjoyed for you as you feel just the beginning of the difficulties of "letting go". Let go momma, let go...

-Scott (Rebekah's Daddy)
www.HelpRebekah.com

 
At 9:01 PM, Blogger Paula said...

Crying, can't stop crying. Wonderful post.

 
At 11:38 PM, Blogger Hector said...

I know the feeling full well. I have a daugter who is in her second semester of college. She has matured a lot, but every now and then she goes back to been daddy's little girl. I went to see her two weeks ago and had lunch with her and her boyfriend. Nice guy, but of course, who would ever be good enough for her....! :)

 
At 4:36 AM, Blogger Susanna said...

My mum had to let her fourth and final go in summer 2005.My two sisters live near her but my brother and I do not. As my baby is only 1 year old I have no idea how it feels, but I can say she did it with love and tenderness and real dignity. She cared, but did not hold on too tight and the times we all have together now as a family are fantastic. In fact, she and my dad are so busy now serving the Lord and working, i kind of wonder how they fitted us in! May the Lord help you in all you do and may you know the blessing of watching your littel gril blossom into a godly woman.

 
At 4:38 AM, Blogger Susanna said...

P.S excuse the bad spelling! She will always need her mum. I am 26 and live 4 hours away from my mum but I love her just the same if not more and value her more than ever.xxxx

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger Dawn said...

It's an exciting time in her life, and it's wonderful that she has such a supportive mom. Even though you are "letting go" from a daughters point of view, we do know mom is always there. That was so sweet. I can't wait to tell my mom I love her today!

 
At 3:14 PM, Blogger Julana said...

Sounds so hard. But I'm glad for her, that she has the opportunity to do this.

 
At 4:29 PM, Blogger Barbara said...

Something I will have to face up to over the next few years...

Gulp....

Like Paula, tears were flowing....

You have given her the firm foundation on which to build...it will soon be up to her as to what materials she uses to build, sand,, straw, stone...

She has to make her own mistakes and learn from them.. and we have to stand back and watch them do it...

(but with God's blessing, you (we) will be there for them to pick them up and dust them down, and love them and hug them and just be there for them....)

 
At 4:45 PM, Blogger JodiTucker said...

What a lovely post!! We have a son (21) on his own and living for God with all his heart (joy to my heart!!) There's a daughter (18) who is a college freshman. I had your same thoughts about one year ago. She, too, has God at the center of all. This is what you parented all those years for......a grown-up who can handle themselves. (Not that anyone is ever "independent" who trusts in God and is "dependent" on Him.) The grown-up kids just become more inter-dependent on others besides their parents. But, it is so cool to talk to them as adult to adult!!
Getting into serious life issues and what not! We also have one other daughter (now 17) and a junior in HS. She is a delight, too.....just needs another year in the maturity department before she flies the nest, too. However, to keep my parenting instincts in place, we now own a black lab puppy. Geez Louise, are they ever high energy....like a two year old!! Again I enjoy your take on
TP's sr. year. Will she stay in state for college?

 
At 5:07 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

Oh Valarie....You brought me into my future, and I am overwhelmed with emotion. Can't we just hold onto them forever?

 
At 6:32 PM, Blogger ukok said...

Oh, this is so beautiful...I hope that I can relinquish the apron strings so graceously when it is my turn to do so!

God Bless you and God Bless your daughter, you've done an awesome job of mothering her, that much is clearly evident :)

 
At 2:14 PM, Blogger Shawnda said...

Ahhh..this brought me to tears....just thinking of our little ones leaving and going to college...I know it's going to come SO fast...as you shared, but it seems so far away!

She still wants to come home for home cooked meals, and she was delighted to share her experiences with you...sounds like you have a sweet relationship! Praise the LORD!

 

Post a Comment


Thank you for your thoughts...

Back to the main page