Vulnerability

It dawned on me this morning that my posts about "Human Frailty" could be directly applied to a situation that is going on underneath my nose wtih my oldest daughter. Why I didn't connect the dots before this morning, I don't have a clue (other than old age creeping in!).

As most of you know, my oldest (TP) was diagnosed almost two years ago with lupus nephritis. The physical aspects of this disease are horrendous - and the treatment protocol has side effects which affect the outward appearance of a patient. The steroids alone can cause weight gain, unsightly stretch marks all over the body, and a puffy face. You can well imagine what all of that can do to the tenuous self-esteem of a teenager.

All of these physical "frailties" (as I mentioned in my recent posts) have caused her to become emotionally "frail" in the sense of becoming somewhat depressed, angry at times, and being self-conscience about her body to the point that she "hates" the way she looks. This emotional frailty has set her up to become vulnerable to some outside influences which decided to tempt her to make some decisions which goes against our values. She was "caught", the situation has ben "taken care of", and we are now living with a teenager who isn't very happy with Mom and Dad, but oddly enough, I think she feels relieved that she's no longer hiding her actions from us.

This has given us an opportunity to discuss with her how you can't base decisions on "feelings", and that you have to look at your value system and Christian beliefs as your guide before you can jump into a situation. She's a mature young lady, but she's also very naive, so unfortunately, I think some of her naivetee got in the way of making good choices in this situation. I also think she was so vulnerable, and when a person is that way, other people sense that and try to take advantage of that vulnerability.

After receiving Communion at Mass this weekend, I prayed for TP and all that she has been through the past two years. Then, I began to think of how much this disease has affected the WHOLE family. We are tired. We don't "play" like we used to. We tend to be less patient and understanding. Our energy has been so tied up in treating the disease that we haven't had the strength or energy to treat US. The realization of how much I absolutely HATE what this disease has done to us, especially TP, hit me in the gut. So now, I decided some changes need to be made within our family. I am not sure what they will be - but I know that we are emotionally frail right now. I am looking to God for some answers - and I am looking to you for your prayers. Thank you.