Human Frailty - Part One

Human frailty. We see it everywhere, yet most of the time, our eyes are closed to it because it is just too difficult to bear. We are afraid of our own frailness, our own feebleness - whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual.

My own frailty was brought vividly to my attention over the past few weeks. I was struggling with an infection and a painful medical condition which landed me in bed for days on end. I had been able to get around some, but it was painful to walk, and I would get exhausted quite easily.

This was the first time I had ever got a taste of what it must feel like to be OLD. And it's a scary feeling. It's like my body was turned against me and was no longer able to function properly. It was upsetting and frustrating, and I would get irritable and angry quickly. But what frightened me the most is the dependency one others which I had to learn - and I didn't like it one bit.

I was at a store a couple of weeks ago (when I was feeling better for a brief period of time), and I witnessed a son being verbally abusive to his elderly father. I overheard the first conversation in the entranceway of the store, and the way in which the son was speaking to his father sent chills up my spine. Later, when I was leaving the store, the son was helping the father into a car, and he kept on yelling at his dad. The one phrase he kept on saying to his dad in both places was "This just isn't worth it, man - it's just not worth it". I am sure his dad was taking that to me "YOU'RE just not worth it, man", and the look on his face was one of such sadness and pain.

For the first time ever in my life, I was able to fully put myself in the elderly man's shoes. He was just so physically frail. It is such a frightening feeling to actually feel frail. Words can't begin to describe it until you experience it. The hopelessness of thinking to yourself that you are always going to be frail from now on. The loss of respect that you get from not only strangers but from other people (including sometimes family members) begins to become noticeable in the way in which you are treated. The dependency you have on others to help you do things that once you were able to do without a second thought. All of this physical frailty can then lead you into emotional frailty, and it is at that point which you become most vulnerable. For then, the people around you begin to talk to you as though you are an object rather than a person with feelings - much like that son was talking to his father - and a lot of time, you don't want to say anything to the other person out of fear, because you are so dependent on that person for your care.

I wanted to rush up to that son and just ask him, gently, if there was anything I could do to help him. But, I didn't. I wondered if, when he was a little boy, his father was impatient with him and said "this just isn't worth it, boy". All I know is that the scenes I witnessed were so disturbing to me. And I pray that I never experience the kind of extreme disdain that was displayed from one human being to another as I did on that day.

In a way, I am grateful that I was recently been sick enough to get a "taste" of what physical frailty is all about. It makes me appreciate my strength and energy as I have slowly recuperated. It also makes me realize, once again, the impact that the spoken word can have on another; and how RESPECT for others needs to be taught to our kids when they are very young, or they will never respect us.

I've touched on the emotional and physical aspects of frailty in this post, and I plan to devote my next post on spiritual frailty.