Friday, May 05, 2006



A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH!!!!

TP had her six month check up with her specialist at Children's today. It was good to see him again - he has such an easy-going, caring demeanor about him. The monumental decision was made to take TP off the prednisone TOTALLY!!! So, for the first time in two years, she will no longer be on steroids. If she continues to do well, then in 6 months, we will be able to cut the immunosuppressants in half, and in a year if all goes well, she will be off of those totally, too! Praise the Lord for this wonderful, exciting news. Words can't even begin to express the enormous relief and jubilation this caused for us.

Her doctor went on to say how drastic of an improvement TP has made over the past two years, due in large part to her compliance with taking her meds and exercising and eating healthy foods. He remarked about how grave her situation was when we first met, and then he smiled and said "and look at where she is now - ready to get into the medical field herself in a few short months.". I remember two years ago almost to this very day was when she had started her chemotherapy, which made her so ill. Anyway, the doctor has finally given her a clean bill of health!

So, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Today is a day that I've been waiting for, for a very long time. While I am so very happy and grateful for this news and for TP's good health, I have such a strange mixture of emotions going through me right now.

I guess it boils down to my own need for healing. Healing from the emotional roller coaster of the past two years - the ups and downs, the stress, the pain and suffering, and the sheer exhaustion of it all. I am still feeling the effects of the recent betrayal of trust in my daughter, and the residual anger and pain and sadness from her lies and deceit. It kind of feels like I am just floating around somewhere, without any direction right now, as I face the reality of needing to put all of this behind me, and moving on. In all honesty, I believe healing from the effects of the illness is going to be easier for me to do than healing from the betrayal. The illness was something which happened over which we had no control, it was not something that was purposefully done without regard for how it would affect another person. While I have learned how to forgive, it's a much more difficult thing to forget. When it is remembered, it hits me in the gut all over again, and the pain is as fresh as it was when the deceit was first discovered.

Tomorrow is Prom. I know how excited TP is about this event, so I am happy to see her joyful anticipation. I will have tears in my eyes tomorrow, for many reasons - some obvious ones and other not-so obvious ones. I will hold those reasons which are not so obvious in the secret corners of my heart, and not let them touch or contaminate the moments of my daughter's happiness, which she so richly deserves.

14 Comments:

At 5:49 PM, Blogger Kevin said...

Great news about TP. As to the pain lurking in the corners of the heart: we've all got scar tissue there. Offer it up.

 
At 12:27 AM, Blogger Vicki said...

So relieved and happy to hear the good news about TP. Rejoicing with you. Will keep praying for you about the mother's heart part...let the Lord lift your burdens and begin the healing. {{Hugs}}

 
At 2:13 PM, Blogger My Kid's Mom said...

Kevin - Thanks! I am all too familiar with the "offer it up" part - but I definitely needed the reminder!

Vicki - Thank you so very much. So many times I seem to want to do carry my burdens alone, forgetting that He is there to help me whenever I ask.

 
At 7:46 PM, Blogger HeyJules said...

Val, of course I am THRILLED for TP's health. I wish I could hug you as it just feels wrong not to do that when you hear of news that great!

Now, I have NO idea what TP did that caused the betrayal and, thus, have no idea if I'm right or wrong about this but...

It seems to me that TP has had to be pretty dependent on you - especially this past year with all the health issues and all. Now she's getting ready to go away to college and start living her own life. Could it be that she did this "betrayal" as a way to make that break from her mom? Is this her way of declaring her independence not only from you but for herself? I remember feeling this way at this time in my life...I just thought maybe subconsciously this was her way of making her "break" to see if she could really move forward with her future. Hey, you're the shrink - not me. Just having a thought is all.

 
At 2:22 AM, Blogger Barbara said...

Wonderful news...

I will continue to pray for healing - (for you all!)

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger Julana said...

I'm so glad she's getting off the steroids. Our son was only on them three months,and I think it took me two or three years to get over it. I'm sure they've affected her behavior and outlook along the way. May you all recover together.

 
At 7:15 PM, Blogger JodiTucker said...

Yippee!!....to the clean bill of health!!....and Yippee!!....to God's continuous caring for us in good times and bad and all the in between!!

 
At 11:56 PM, Blogger bigwhitehat said...

How did prom go?

Send pictures.

 
At 12:32 AM, Blogger Nettie said...

I am so glad to hear about it!

 
At 8:31 AM, Blogger Tyra said...

I'm so happy for you and your daughter, I know you must be relieved.

 
At 10:37 AM, Blogger Mrs. Diamond said...

Praise God! Wonderful news!

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger Paula said...

Praising God still for the good news! Awww, your baby's prom and my little one's PreK graduation. Girl, we're gonna shed alot of tears this week! I will be praying for your health and healing.

Love and hugs,

 
At 5:13 PM, Blogger Shawnda said...

Rejoicing and praising the Lord WITH you!!!!!

 
At 3:11 AM, Blogger A Real Man said...

Gracious Lady,

I am visiting from over at BWH and I have found your BLOG to be a place of real peace. I love the house at the top. I am no one's judge and I do not know what casued the pain with your daughter so I will only say that I pray that whatever it was will be healed in you and in her.

GBY

In His Service,

Craig

 

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