Sunday, June 03, 2007

Overcoming the Hurt

This week, my daughters will be ending their school year. TP will be completing her freshman year at college, and DQ will be finishing her sophomore year in high school. To say that it's been a challenging year for both of them would be an understatement. They have weathered many storms. They have conquered many battles. And while they have many scars which are still healing, they have learned many valuable lessons along the way. So have I. I have learned that, as a parent, I have to let them go and make their own mistakes so that they can suffer their own consequences. It sounds like a pretty simple lesson for me to finally learn, but it hasn't been.

When one suffers, one has a choice to make. You can either become very bitter about your suffering and thus become a "victim" of it, or you can go through the suffering and become a better person as a result of it. I must admit, there have been times in my life where I did become a victim of my suffering, and I wallowed way too long in the pit of self-pity. But there have been other times in my life where I allowed my suffering to touch my soul so deeply that I knew it was time to make some very difficult changes in my life. These changes came about as a result of allowing God's grace to touch me and transform those areas of my life which needed to be refined. I couldn't do it alone, that's for sure. I had to ask for God's help to overcome some of those bad habits or unhealthy traits or negative attitudes.

So, my prayer today is that my daughters allow God's grace to touch their hearts and souls as they overcome their hurts from the choices they have made and the negative experiences they have had. I pray that they do not become victims, but rather, victorious over their suffering. I pray that their experiences draw them even closer to God, with the knowledge that He is a merciful God whose love is unconditional. I pray that they know that my love for them will never waver.


At 1:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry things are so difficult for you right now.
Maybe it will cheer you up a little to see Anna's mum sarah is back?
All the best for you!

At 5:07 PM, Anonymous ukok said...

Valerie, It is so good to read this post of yours. It echos todays second reading at Mass!

"We have seen that, through our Lord Jesus Christ, by faith we are judged righteous and at peace with God, since it is by faith and through Jesus that we have entered this state of grace in which we can boast about looking forward to God’s glory. But that is not all we can boast about; we can boast about our sufferings. These sufferings bring patience, as we know, and patience brings perseverance, and perseverance brings hope, and this hope is not deceptive, because the love of God has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit which has been given us".
- Romans 5:1 - 5

At 9:51 PM, Blogger Rosemary Bogdan said...

Amen to Ukok's comment. Lots of wisdom in this post. God bless you and your daughters.

At 9:06 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

I have missed you too! I am so glad you visited. I have a lot of catching up to do, so forgive me for not visiting until now Valarie! You are always one of my favorites.

At 12:12 AM, Blogger annb said...

I remember as a teenager, that I was really mean and disrespectful to my mom for a short period of time. My parents were strict and, of course, I resented their "interference" in my teenage life, but I know that the foundation they gave me - by placing restrictions on me and all that "interference" was the best they could have done for me! As an adult (and a parent, I'm so thankful for that foundation. It never made me love them less - not really! I'm also thankful that God gives us women, wives and mothers - the strength to know that our children need boundaries, and the endurance to keep it up until they're grown! Praying for you and know that He will carry you through whatever you're facing!

At 9:40 PM, Blogger bigwhitehat said...

The good thing is, even a teen can figure out that being a victim sucks.

At 9:04 PM, Blogger Shawnda said...

It's been neat for you to allow us to "watch" you go through this process! This is NO easy season for you....are there any in parenting? ; ) All are hard, I think, in different ways!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face the trials of many kinds b/c you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance....blessed is the man who perseveres under trials because when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him" James 1:2,3, and 12

What a great encouragement this is to me!!!

I'm reading through Don't Waste Your Life right now...have you read that? It's been stirring my heart in ALL areas of my life - it's SO good!!!!

I pray the Lord allows you to see fruit from these trials over the summer, sister!!!

At 1:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read your post and feel the pain. My teenage daughter worked for ten years to achieve an honor this summer within a national organization only to be caught in a "political trap" and a smear campaign. She truly is a victinm for someone else's gain. She is working desperatrely on overcoming this but the scar is deep and right now she is bitter. As her mom, I suffer with her; yet I know with time she will process this situation and come out a "stronger and better" person. What I find most bothersome is that in today's world, society relishes in; almost to the point of enjoying "the smear" with little regard for the truth. Have we been taught sensationlism is entertainment even at the expense of others?


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