Christian Women Online
February's edition of CWO can be found at www.christianwomenonline.net This month's theme is, appropriately, LOVE. It's a beautiful edition, full of wonderful stories, so please take a few minutes and head on over there. My column this month has to do with the love of an adoptive mother for her children, and the process of letting them go as they face decisions about meeting their birth moms. Let me know what you think, OK?
9 Comments:
I stopped by for a minute on my way to read your article. I posted a meme about books -- if you'd like to check it out. Just whenever you feel like and have time. I'm always interested in hearing what others are reading.
PJ
It's so true that the things we say and think when the kids are young are appropriate for then, but must be re-thought at a later date. Letting them go --to grow up-- is hard (even for a birth mother), but it's a necessary step.
My husband is an adopted child. We know something of those struggles.
Thanks for sharing.
We adopted our daughter right from the hospital nearing 10 1/2 years ago...such a blessing from God
I too have thought about how I would feel if she wanted to meet her birth mom.
Even tho I am scared I feel she has the right to do that.
Guess I won't have to worry about that for at least 11 more years....
Blessings
Oh Val, that is so beautiful, I love how you said
'love is love, regardless of whose blood is flowing in a person’s veins'...that is so true!
Well done on an absolutely wonderful article!
(((hugs)))
Hi Val, I just had a chance to read your article in the e-zine. It rocked!! Although I have not adopted kids, I have come to love my students at school because they are my kids, all 450 of them. Now, some of them drive me batty, but it is the sense that they are all made in the image of God that compels me to love them. Sometimes this means discipine and punishment, sometimes a hug, sometimes a call home to parents, etc. In any case, love is a choice, not a biological blood-thing!
THank you all for your kind and thoughtful comments. I am so blessed to be my kid's mom!!
happy valentine's day, val! =D
I was looking for something this morning online and this link popped up perhaps it was God detouring me to something I needed to read to be encouraged for my day. As a young woman having given up her son for adoption I can understand the fear of letting your girls get to find or get to know their birthmother. I guess you should give yourself credit for praying for their birth mother and allowing this thought of letting them go to enter in. I am faced more in this day with those against USA adoptions because "the mothers" change their mind and so many children in USA have no homes no families to love them. Its good you had faith to keep going from the beginning and believe that IT CAN work out for everyone. I think that people should learn more about our side too. NO one knows except us what an experience it is to go through 9 months of decisions and thoughts of fairy tale endings and then reality and chosing a adoptive parent and trusting God knowing that we made the best decision we could in picking the parents for our child and then to leave your child in a crib at a hospital at 4 days old for someone else to take home. But to comment on your article perhaps you will find a bond with their mother too or perhaps you will have a more incredible bond with your daughters after they find their mother. Because I know I may never see my son and I am ok with that. But I hope that just as you did perhaps they at least thought of me and prayed for me through the years when I was missing every moment of his life. I never had any more children so my legacy is unknown to my child for now but I hope that perhaps if they do ever tell him he was adopted that he will forgive me and love me too.
Mollee - Thank you so much for writing. I wanted to write a note to you personally, so I checked to see if you had a blog, but you don't. If you'd like to, please let me know you your email address is as I'd like to talk to you more about this.
You write so movingly about your experience, and for that, I thank you. You say that you hope your son forgives you - and I suspect that there is no reason for him to forgive you. You gave him LIFE, when you could have aborted him. You gave him your unselfish LOVE, by giving him to a family to raise him. My girls have never, ever thought that there was anything to forgive their birth moms for because they've always known how much their birth moms loved them - I made sure of that. They are curious about their birth moms, but they are not bitter about being adopted. They knew their moms were unable to take care of them, and thus, had to find somebody else to do that "job". I was fortunate enough to have been "chosen" by each of the girls' birth moms, and of course, I firmly believe that I was "chosen" by God to raise my girls. Bless you, Mollee, for your courage and strength and unselfishness.
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