Being a Catholic Mom

Being a Catholic shapes all of my decisions, but the area in which it has its' most significant role is that of being a parent.

I can remember as a child, my mother used to pray the rosary on a daily basis in hopes that one of her children would ultimately become either a nun or a priest. None of us entered into the religious vocation, so does that mean that all of my mother's prayers were for naught?


I think not. I think that mom's prayers also served a purpose of helping us choose the vocation God actually wanted for us. For me, that vocation was/is being a mom.

Over the years, I have tried to model my parenting by keeping the phrase "gentle but firm" as my mantra. I tried to imagine how Mary, the mother of Jesus, would handle certain situations, and I relied a lot on that image. Some of you may remember the miracle that TP experienced in November of 2005 when she was so deathly ill. If you don't recall, please go back through my archives (wish I knew how to link to it but I don't have a clue) to read of how I asked Mary, as one mom to another, to help me through that situation and to ask God for a miracle on my daughter's behalf. It still sends shudders up my spine each time when I think of the response to my prayers!

My youngest daughter and I were having a very serious discussion the other day. She's experiencing a deep crisis of faith right now, as I mentioned in a post a few days ago. As she was explaining how difficult it is for her to believe in our religion right now, I was thinking of how my mother used to tell me that a mother's job is to raise her kids so that they make it to heaven. So, as my daughter is telling me how she wants to "explore" other religions, I found myself getting really sad - thinking that somehow I had let her down, and let God down, by not keeping her on the "right path" to her salvation. I thought of how sad I would be if I did get to heaven, and not being able to see her eventually some day if she decided to reject God. I felt like such a failure! So, I explained to my daughter that when I was in college, I read a lot about other religions besides Christianity, and I found them to be fascinating. But, eventually I found my way back to Christ because He holds the key to my salvation. I let her know that her questionings and doubts were understandable, given what happened to her - and that reading about other religions would help her understand how they differ from ours, and might even help her to ultimately decide (like I did) that she does want to stay a Christian. I didn't chastise her, I didn't yell at her - but I may have inflicted a little bit of a guilt trip into her when I told her what my mom said to me about raising our kids so that they get to heaven (I'm great at giving guilt trips - the hallmark of a true Catholic mom!). She seemed relieved that we were able to talk and get it out in the open, and she promised me that we would have more talks about it as she went through this process. I am grateful that she will be living at home during her college years, so I will still be able to have some influence over her to a certain degree. So, I still have 5 more years of praying and encouraging, and helping her heal from the trauma she went through several years ago.

My oldest daughter went through her own rebellion for a couple of years, but is now back on track, thanks to a lot of prayers from a lot of people. The culture out there goes against the very things which we try to instill in our kids - a respect for life, a respect for our values and teachings, a respect of our traditions, and a willingness to follow God's will for our lives. This young lady had never given any of us any trouble, until she got involved with a man who was the direct opposite of all we had taught her to believe in, and he did all that he could to pull her away from our influence. Another man came along who pulled her even farther away from God and all that we held dear. Fortunately, she was able to pull herself away from these destructive and abusive grips on her, and she is now very active in her faith again.

I do not take my vocation lightly. I will always guide my girls in the way of the Lord. And that doesn't always make me the most "popular" mom around and I've been accused of being pretty old-fashioned. But God chose me to be my kids' mom for a reason - and that reason is to help them through their crises here on earth to prepare them for the joy which awaits them when they meet Him in heaven. And I am SO grateful and blessed to be their mom.