Continued . . . Racism Still Exists

The first thing I must do is apologize for the delay between posts about this topic. I find it to be a very emotional topic for me, and thus it is very draining when I do write about it. Hence, I tend to kind of wait until I know I can "handle" writing about how this topic has affected my family.

I left off with the remark that keeping DQ in her school was a decision that we would live to regret. Pretty drastric remark, but it truly reflects what consequences that decision had on us. In retrospect, I wish we had made a different decision, but it doesn't do any good to ponder the "what if's". It is what it is. I do know, in the long run, it has made all of us (in particular, DQ) stronger and closer. So, in that regard, all is not in vain.

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DQ was going to go back to her "old" school for 8th grade due to all the upheaval she experienced during 7th grade at the junior high she had enrolled at the previous year. However, a couple of weeks before 8th grade started, she had a change of heart, and decided to return. She said she had wanted to "make a difference" at that school, and show them how to overcome their preconceived ideas about different races. I had a talk with the principal, and he assured me all would be well, and that he and the teachers would monitor things closely. About three weeks into the school year, DQ's sister became ill again, and was hospitalized for awhile, plus had several outpatient procedures which required a lot of time away from home on my part. I wasn't able to monitor DQ's emotional state nor her progress in school. By the end of October, I found out that all was not well at her school. Her grades were slipping, and she was moodier than normal. DQ has ADD, and I had asked the teachers repeatedly to do certain interventions to help her out. None of the interventions would have required much effort from the teachers, but their attitude was one of being put out by my requests rather than interested in the well-being of DQ. Her teachers had the attitude that DQ was "lazy" or "irresponsible" rather than trying to help her develop some organizational skills within their classrooms to help her achieve. I could do some of these things at home, but I couldn't be present with her all the time at school. I went to the principal over this, and it fell on deaf ears. Finally, in December, when DQ began speaking about some of the treatment she was getting from the kids, I went to the principal again. I told him about my frustrations about the so-called Christian learning environment within his school, and I said that I was considering withdrawing DQ. His response? "Well, we'd hate to lose another student, but if you feel the need to do so, then I will understand". Nothing whatsoever about trying to meet DQ's social or academic needs. Oh - and did you notice that he had not even called DQ by name, and just referred to her as "another student"?

The holidays came and went, and during this time period, I was able to spend some more time with DQ. She told me of being taunted by the other kids. They would say to her "you have no friends". They would say to her "If you don't like it here, they why don't you just leave?". They would exclude her from group activities and discussions. They would turn their backs when she'd enter the room. They would giggle when they'd see her, and lower their voices as she'd walk by. When the class went to a game at a larger town, they saw a group of black teenagers, and they kept on commenting - "Why do THEY dress that way?" (in reference to the style of clothing and jewelry). We discussed ways of handling this, and she really wanted to go back and try once again. I decided to bring it up again at the next school board meeting (I was president). I did some research to ascertain how many kids had left the school over the past two years, and perhaps not too surprisingly, what I found out was astounding. This little school of around 100 students had about 10 kids leave the year before. Five of them were from a different race. Two of them were overweight and ridiculed by others. One who left was "popular", but her parents saw what was going on within that environment, and wanted to get their child out of there. Another one left due to financial reasons, and the final one left due to being sexually assaulted by another student.

I was unable to discuss this at the January or February school board meeting because the principal circumvented the discussion (I wasn't even able to get it on the agenda). In mid-February, the proverbial shit hit the fan.

DQ walked in on a conversation that the "cool" kids were having with one of DQ's male friends, another biracial kid. They said something about him having black toes, and asked him if he got them when he lived in Africa. SAY WHAT???? DQ was furious, and hauled off and hit the "queen bee" of the girls in the face. The girl hit DQ back. Obviously, they were both sent to the office, and they were suspended for one day. The principal spoke to them together, and he actually had the audacity to say "Now, Queen Bee, you know that because of DQ's skin color, she is at a DISADVANTAGE". . . It was later that DQ told me that she felt like screaming "I am NOT at a disadvantage". She kept her mouth shut, but later when we were talking about it, I explained the remark to her in this way: some people say things like that out of ignorance, others out of fear, and even others out of pure hate. I said I doubted that he was saying that because he hated her or was fearful of her, but rather because he just didn't understand what he was saying and how he perceived her race.
Now, mind you, DQ has never hit anybody. When she got home, she burst into tears when telling me about the whole incident. She felt absolutely HORRIBLE about herself for doing it. She said "Mom, I tried to use my words with Queen Bee and the other kids, I tried to tell the teachers and the guidance counselor and the principal - and you tried, too, but nothing helped - it didn't help!".

My next entry will be about what I said to the principal when he called me about this incident, and how I handled it with the school board. Believe me, I am like a lioness when it comes to protecting my kids, so be prepared. . . In the meantime, I am heading off to Michigan in the morning, and won't be back until Sunday night, so I won't be posting again until Monday. Have a great weekend, everybody!