Monday, October 31, 2005



SCARS

When did my 17 year old become so wise?

We were getting ready for senior pictures yesterday. I was helping her with her makeup, and we were just having lots of fun together. In the past, she had always asked me to help her to put a concealer on a scar where her port was placed last year. It is a fairly large scar, so it's quite noticeable, and it is located on her chest. So, without thinking, I asked her if she wanted to put the concealer on.

She looked me straight in the eye and said, "Mom, this is a part of me now - it is who I am. I have accepted it. If other people have a problem with it, oh well. That is THEIR problem, not mine".

Acceptance has arrived. TP has overcome that final hurdle of having a chronic illness. She knows her illness is a part of her, but it is not all of her. She knows how to define what it is, but it doesn't define who she is. She knows she is not invincible, and is able to articulate what her prognosis is.

She is a remarkable young lady. God has given her the gift of wisdom. This is what I've been praying for all along, even though I didn't have the words to ask for it. Thank you, dear Lord, for helping TP come to terms with Lupus. Her scars healed on the outside a long time ago, and now finally, they have healed on the inside.

16 Comments:

At 9:26 AM, Blogger Tyra said...

Those scars have made her stronger, in her faith and in her value of herself. I don't doubt though that the love of her mother has helped those scars to heal.

 
At 9:43 AM, Blogger Julana said...

That is a real sign of maturity. Good for her!

 
At 10:23 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

Good for her! I can only hope Anna isn't self concious about her scars when she is older.

 
At 4:54 PM, Blogger HeyJules said...

Oh,that's just great news!

 
At 6:37 PM, Blogger echotig said...

I have a scar right in the center of my forehead, for all the world to see. I was in in a car accident at 10 years old, so it bothered me for a long time. But late in my teens I realized that it was indeed a big part of who I was. I could have died that day, but I didn't. I could be dead but all I have is a scar. Its a sign of victory now. A sign of survival. Scars are badges of bravery, because warriors bleed.

 
At 9:06 PM, Blogger bigwhitehat said...

Echo stole my quote.

I tip the big white hat to your daughter. Give her a hug and a kiss from me.

It is good to feel good in your own skin.

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger Darlene said...

I love the way you said that it healed on the outside long ago, and now they healed on the inside. The inside takes so much longer.

 
At 8:26 AM, Blogger My Kid's Mom said...

Tyra: Thank you. I am a firm believer that love can get you through anything.

Julana: The disease has had that effect on her - she sees everything so different now. So, in that way, it's been a blessing

Hi Sarah! When Anna gets to that stage which we all go through as a teenager, and she's feeling self-conscious, let me know. I'll have TP e-mail her, ok?

Julie: Thanks!!!

Echotig: Thank you for sharing that with me. I liked what you had to say, and will share it with TP. She, too, knows that she could have died last year - and her prognosis will always be rather uncertain even though she's in remission - so that affects her perception of life on a much deeper level than most teenagers. It sounds like you went through the same proces.

BWH: Echo stole your quote? Great minds think alike - so no wonder that you two are married to each other!!! I shall give TP a hug and kiss - she is VERY partial to guys with big white hats.

Darlene: I agree. I had been kinda worried about her, as it seemed like she was starting to get resentful and angry - but that was part of the whole process of coming to terms with her disease. I am sure she will still have her "moments", but there is a real sense of acceptance now.

 
At 11:21 AM, Blogger Stacy said...

I'm crying Valerie, crying. What a blessed mommy you are.

 
At 11:22 AM, Blogger Sweetheart said...

I think of scars as medals of honor for going through your own battle. She sounds amazing!
Blessings,
Kelly

 
At 2:06 PM, Blogger Mrs. Diamond said...

She sounds like a very wise young lady. And she's right. It's their problem, not hers

 
At 8:24 PM, Blogger The Gray Tie said...

oooooooooooooh I am crying and you gave me goosebumps too! Good for her. And yes God did give her wisdome but He also gave her a wise and compassionate mother. Good job Mom. ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

 
At 11:08 PM, Blogger OhioPunky said...

Wow.... that is beautiful! I don't know what else to say!

 
At 9:40 AM, Blogger Barbara said...

I realise that this is a bit out of context here, but these words jumped into my mind when I read your post and they seem so fitting for TP

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight"

I am sure that she has this, in great abundance and I pray that she may realise just how loved she is, both by her heavenly Father and her earthly family as well.

 
At 8:02 PM, Blogger My Kid's Mom said...

Hi Stacy: Yes, I have been very, very blessed. I have a couple of great girls!

Kelly: It's so good to hear from you again!!! She is going to make a great nurse someday (just like your daughter!).

Hi Mrs. D: I'm glad she looks at it like that, too.

Carol: Oh, now you made ME cry. Thank you - your words mean more to me than you'll ever know!.

Barbara: How beautiful that was. Thank you so much! I think I'll write that in a note to her, and mention that you sent it to me.

Have a great weekend, everybody! I plan to catch up here - I have a few things I want to blog about, it's just finding the time!

 
At 7:02 PM, Blogger Paula said...

TP, you go girl!!! Great job mom! You've raised a fine young lady!

Love ya!

 

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