Well, my vacation is officially over. I'm back to work tomorrow morning. Our time in Michigan was very, very enjoyable. My husband's parents are so special to me, and it was fun helping my sister celebrate her 40th wedding anniversary. It was exciting to watch the girls go "tubing" behind a jet-ski, and heartwarming to see them play with their little three year old cousin. I remember when my girls were that age, and how much fun they would have spending days at Nana's and Papa's beach. I was able to spend some quiet time on the beach, and the sound of the waves lapping at the shore lulled me into a serene state of relaxation. On the longest day of the year (which was the first day of summer), it was still light outside at 10:45 p.m. Have I mentioned lately how much I miss living in Michigan?
So, I am in a position now where I really need to pick up some more hours of work. I could always increase my caseload, but in all honesty, I am not so certain that is the answer for me. If I see too many clients, I am afraid that it's not very healthy for me. I've been checking into perhaps getting in on a franchise business. Have any of you ever done that line of work before? If so, what was the experience like? Is is something that you would recommend?
My to-do list has grown an extra couple of feet since being off. I was going to try to whittle it down since we actually returned on Tuesday, but other things kept on getting in the way - like getting the windshield replaced, doing laundry, working on financial aid applications with my oldest, taking my youngest to the dentist to get a cavity filled, paying the bills, making a ton of phone calls including one to Verizon about a HUGE cellphone bill, etc. I'm hoping that I'll be able to tackle that list over the weekend, and then again, after the 4th. It's hard to believe it's almost the 4th of July, isn't it?! I'm already seeing fall and Christmas decorations being put up in the craft stores. Not ready for that yet, period.
Relax and enjoy the summer - it's only here for such a brief time!
ATTITUDE: the difference between ORDEAL and ADVENTURE. How's YOUR attitude? Mine is great right now, as I head out the door in the morning for a much-needed and well-deserved vacation with my family. We're going "home", and we're going to spend lots of time on the shores of Lake Michigan. My sister is celebrating her 40th wedding anniversary, and my husband is celebrating his 56th birthday on Sunday! So, I'll be back next week - or I may even decide to write a post while I'm up north. God bless!
I've been putting of writing this entry for awhile because I am not sure how to say what I want to say. The words that are swirling in my head can't seem to slow down long enough for me to be able to grasp them in order to put them together into some sort of semblance of meaning. I've had to distance myself emotionally from this situation because if I focus in on my feelings, then I am overcome with the sadness and anger and disappointment. I've had to learn that this is not about me, nor is it about whether or not I'm a good mom, nor should I wonder if I didn't do enough or if perhaps I did too much. It's not a reflection on me because it didn't come about as a result of choices I made or didn't make. This is about learning from mistakes, growing as a result of them, and ultimately, forgiving someone even when you don't feel like it. As Mother Theresa said, "If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive".
I sent TP off to college on a beautiful sunny day last fall. If you recall, it was quite an adjustment for me to watch her go - but she had a dream to follow, and a life of her own to live. She was full of promise and promises - the promise of achievement and success, and promises to stay on the right track. TP faced many difficulties once she got on campus - from having a roommate who did all she could to entice TP into a sordid life, to facing temptations which were too difficult to pass up, to finding it hard to balance a social life with an academic life, to finding out too late that freedom comes not only with responsibilities but with consequences as well. Her transformation changed her into a young woman who was unrecognizable to me. It broke my heart to see what was happening to her. Trust was broken time and time again. Lies were told. Covering up and omitting information became second nature to her. She was squandering her education and her soul to the empty promises that she would be happy if she would only do this, or try that, or to become someone who shouldn't have to worry about what her parents thought or what God's will was.
It's been a long road. But she's home now. And she is striving diligently to get back on track. At this school, you are "weeded out" during your freshman year as to whether or not you are accepted into the nursing program at the end of year. TP didn't get accepted. So, we had to make a decision. Does she go there next year and apply again at the end of her sophomore year? If she did that, then she'd be there for five years, and that didn't appeal to her. At the same time, if she left there, then she'd be leaving behind some good friends whom she had made this past year, and she'd be leaving a great school with a wonderful academic reputation. In the end, the decision was made to apply to a different nursing school with an accelerated BSN program which she could complete in 3 years or less. We found out on Wednesday that she was accepted there. She will be living at home with us. To put it simply, dorm life can be pure hell in many different ways, so we welcome her back home with open arms and loving hearts. Forgiveness is a gift which helps to heal all of those feelings of sadness and anger and disappointment.
I love you, TP. Don't ever forget that. I know it was a very painful and difficult year for you, and that you have learned many lessons the hard way. I hope that someday, you and I will be able to talk more about what happened so that we can become close once again. You have so much to offer the world - and you know that I will always be your greatest cheerleader. I am so happy that you have chosen to get back on track with us and with the Lord. You're my babe, and you are very precious to me.
My 20,000th visitor arrived at 8:42p.m., (7:42 their time) from Fargo, North Dakota, using an IP address from cableone.net . The referring URL is on my blogroll - Sarah: Anna's Place. But, I don't have a clue as to who it could be?! So, perhaps this person will visit again and recognize themselves, and say "hi".
So, what a milestone for me - and I'm looking forward to the next 20,000 visitors. Perhaps it will only take me a year to get that many rather than 2 years this time around!
I have a huge favor for all of you "lurkers" out there. I have at least 20 people who visit me regularly, but who don't leave comments. Can you PLEASE introduce yourselves to me?! I would love to "meet" you - even if you don't have your own blog.
Also, sometime this weekend, I will hit my 20,000th visitor! I wonder who it will be?
Kids are out of school, it's the beginning of summer vacation. . . I'm SO looking forward to some time with the family. I'll post an update some time this weekend about family life at my household. God bless.
This week, my daughters will be ending their school year. TP will be completing her freshman year at college, and DQ will be finishing her sophomore year in high school. To say that it's been a challenging year for both of them would be an understatement. They have weathered many storms. They have conquered many battles. And while they have many scars which are still healing, they have learned many valuable lessons along the way. So have I. I have learned that, as a parent, I have to let them go and make their own mistakes so that they can suffer their own consequences. It sounds like a pretty simple lesson for me to finally learn, but it hasn't been.
When one suffers, one has a choice to make. You can either become very bitter about your suffering and thus become a "victim" of it, or you can go through the suffering and become a better person as a result of it. I must admit, there have been times in my life where I did become a victim of my suffering, and I wallowed way too long in the pit of self-pity. But there have been other times in my life where I allowed my suffering to touch my soul so deeply that I knew it was time to make some very difficult changes in my life. These changes came about as a result of allowing God's grace to touch me and transform those areas of my life which needed to be refined. I couldn't do it alone, that's for sure. I had to ask for God's help to overcome some of those bad habits or unhealthy traits or negative attitudes.
So, my prayer today is that my daughters allow God's grace to touch their hearts and souls as they overcome their hurts from the choices they have made and the negative experiences they have had. I pray that they do not become victims, but rather, victorious over their suffering. I pray that their experiences draw them even closer to God, with the knowledge that He is a merciful God whose love is unconditional. I pray that they know that my love for them will never waver.
I have two college age daughters and a precious granddaughter and a husband with whom I have shared my life for 35 years! I am a pscyotherapist in private practice where I counsel individuals, couples, and families.
